Other Animal Jokes

If it is not an elephant and it does not swim, it will be featured in our other animal jokes section.

What should you do if you see a great big tiger?
Hope that the tiger doesn't see little old you.

What has four legs and sees just as well from both ends?
A horse with his eyes closed.

Will the cat nip?
No but pig sWill!

What's the difference between a storm cloud and the man sitting on a hedgehog?
One pours with rain. The other roars with pain.

What happened when a pussy swallowed a penny?
There was money in the kitty?

What was the tortoise doing on the freeway?
About three yards and hour.

"Who's been eating my porridge?" squeaked Baby Bear.
"Who's been eating my porridge?" cried Mother Bear.
"Burp!" said Father Bear.

Did you hear about the messy horse?
Yes, he had dreadful stable manners.

What's the difference between a unicorn and a lettuce?
One is a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast.

What nickname did the Bear get after he shat in Owl's house?
Winnie the Poo.

What do frogs drink?
Croaka Cola.

What do frogs order in restaurants?
French Flies.

Papa Bear: "Who's been sleeping in my bed?"
Baby Bear: "Who's been sleeping in my bed?"
Mama Bear: "Shut the f*** up! I just couldn't be bothered making them."

What's the difference between a coyote and a flea?
One howls on the prairie and the other prowls on the hairy.

Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her.

What do you do with a blue whale?
Try to cheer him up.

Which royal is very aware of environment hazards?
Prince of Whales.

Who went into the tiger's lair and came out alive?
The tiger.

What is the longest insect in the world?
A centipede. His body covers a hundred feet.

What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus?
A farmer's dream - it milks itself.

What's the best way to catch a rabbit?
Hide in the bushes and make a noise like lettuce.

What do cats put in their cocktails?
Mice cubes.

What's the difference between a kangaroo, a lumberjack and a bag of peanuts?
A kangaroo hops and chews and a lumberjack chops and hews.
Yes, but what's the bag of peanuts for?
For monkeys like you, dear.

How do fleas travel from place to place?
By itch hiking.

What happens when two oxen bump into each other?
An oxident.

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