Criminal Jokes

Police interrogation. The detective asks the crook.
"What did you do before you turned to shoplifting?"
"I was Robbin' Food."

Teacher: What are you going to do when you grow up, boy?
Pupil: I'm going to follow my father's footsteps and be a policeman, sir.
Teacher: Oh, so your father is a policeman.
Pupil: No, he's a crook.

Billy-Bob saw a notice outside a police station, which read: "Man wanted for robbery". So he went in and applied for the job.

How do you call a kid who is too fond of his Kellogg's?
A cereal killer.

Did you hear about the taxi-driver who found a pair of kippers in the back of his taxi-cab?
The police told him that if no-one claimed them within six months, he would be allowed to keep them.

At the scene of a bank robbery the police sergeant came running up to his chief and said, "He got away, sir!"
The inspector was furious. "But didn't I tell you to put a man at all the exits? How could he get away?"
"He left by one of the entrances, sir!"

What's the difference between a jeweller and a jailer?
One sells watches, the other watches cells.