Dead Corpse Jokes

How many corpses it takes to scare you to death? Read our short dead jokes and find out.

Why did the undertaker chop all his corpses into small bits?
Because he wanted them to rest in pieces.

1st Undertaker: I've just been given a sack.
2nd Undertaker: Why's that?
1st Undertaker: I buried someone in the wrong place.
2nd Undertaker: That was a grave mistake!

Why did the space shuttle blow up?
Because it was on a collision corpse.

John: I was sorry to hear that your mother-in-law had died. What was complaint?
James: We haven't had any yet.

Why do they have a high fence around the graveyard?
Everyone is dying to get in.

Old Tom is gone! Alack, alas!
He tried to trace escaping gas.
With lighted match he probed the meter,
Which blew him up to meet St. Peter.

Did you hear about the gravediggers who went on a strike?
Yes, they decided they would only deal with emergency cases.

Teacher: If I had ten flies on my desk, and I swatted one, how many flies would be left?
Pupil: One - the dead one!

Who smells like a pig, croaks and puts people in pies?
Swiny Toad.

What do liars do when they die?
They lie still.

Do undertakers enjoy their job?
Of corpse they do!

How did captain Hook die?
He was picking his nose with the wrong hand.

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