Funny jokes and free naughty pictures.

"I'm treating a patient with a split personality," boasted a psychiatrist, "and NHS pays for both of them!"

Our kidneys filter out the alcochol within 24 hours. That's why we are forced to drink every day...

Once there was this hash-head sitting on a bank of a river fishing. He happened to catch a goldfish. She started to beg:
"Please, don't kill me. I will fulfil three wishes for you!"
The hash-head had a thought for a while and then replied:
"My first wish is… I want a herd of mammuts running along the river."
The goldfish just googled her eyes but fulfilled his wish. A large herd of mammuts ran along the river.
"What about your second wish?" asked the fish.
"Could they just run backwards?"
The fish said nothing and a large herd of mammuts ran along the river.
"This is your last wish. Think before you say anything."
The hash-head thought for a while and said:
"Let them run again. I like hard parties!"

Patient:
"Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dustbin."
Psychiatrist:
"Don't talk rubbish!"

Patient:
"Doctor, I have a split personality."
Psychiatrist:
"Nurse, bring in another chair."