Funny jokes and free naughty pictures.

Kids playing in a playground. A little boy with a yellow hat spots two brothers and says onto them:
"I know, you two are twins."
"No, we are not," the boys reply.
"Yes you are, you look alike!"
"No, we are not," the boys reply.
The little boy turns red with anger, and then he hears a voice behind:
"We are triplets, I just went to pee!"

"You should buy one of these shirts. They are very strong. You can wash them in the most severe regimes. They even laugh at the washing-machines!"
"Yeah, sure they do. I have had a pair of these. They have splat their sides with laughter while washing."

This happened at a bow shooting competition some time ago. A slave was brought in the middle of a field; an apple was placed on his head.
The first sportsman came out on the field, took a shoot and hit the apple. He waved his bow and exclaimed: "I am Robin Hood!"
The second sportsman came out on the field, took a shoot and hit the apple. He waved his bow and exclaimed: "I am Wilhelm Tell!"
The third sportsman came out on the field, took a shoot and hit the slave right in the head. The sportsman exclaimed: "I am Sorry!"

What quality a woman needs to look modern?
She has to look like a girl, dress like a boy, think like a man and work like a horse!

Once there was this teacher who drew an apple on the blackboard. She asked children.
-Dear children, what is this you see on the blackboard?
No answer.
-Johnny, what do you think?
-It is a butt
The teacher blushed
-You are a nasty little boy, Johnny, shame on you. Betty, I am sure you will be able to name the object I have drawn on the blackboard.
-It is a butt, dear teacher, answered Betty.
This was too much. The teacher got angry.
-I cannot take this anymore. I am going to fetch the principal.
She slammed the door and after a couple of minutes returned with the principal. He started to lecture
-Little bastards, I am gonna teach you how to behave... by the way, who drew this butt on the blackboard?