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December 8, 2006
I Just Went To Pee
Kids playing in a playground. A little boy with a yellow hat spots two brothers and says onto them: "I know, you two are twins." "No, we are not," the boys reply. "Yes you are, you look alike!" "No, we are not," the boys reply. The little boy turns red with anger, and then he hears a voice behind: "We are triplets, I just went to pee!" |
November 20, 2006
The Shirts Are Laughing
"You should buy one of these shirts. They are very strong. You can wash them in the most severe regimes. They even laugh at the washing-machines!" "Yeah, sure they do. I have had a pair of these. They have splat their sides with laughter while washing." |
November 19, 2006
I Am Sorry!
This happened at a bow shooting competition some time ago. A slave was brought in the middle of a field; an apple was placed on his head. The first sportsman came out on the field, took a shoot and hit the apple. He waved his bow and exclaimed: "I am Robin Hood!" The second sportsman came out on the field, took a shoot and hit the apple. He waved his bow and exclaimed: "I am Wilhelm Tell!" The third sportsman came out on the field, took a shoot and hit the slave right in the head. The sportsman exclaimed: "I am Sorry!" |
October 27, 2006
A Modern Woman
What quality a woman needs to look modern? She has to look like a girl, dress like a boy, think like a man and work like a horse!
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October 24, 2006
Butt On The Blackboard
Once there was this teacher who drew an apple on the blackboard. She asked children. -Dear children, what is this you see on the blackboard? No answer. -Johnny, what do you think? -It is a butt The teacher blushed -You are a nasty little boy, Johnny, shame on you. Betty, I am sure you will be able to name the object I have drawn on the blackboard. -It is a butt, dear teacher, answered Betty. This was too much. The teacher got angry. -I cannot take this anymore. I am going to fetch the principal. She slammed the door and after a couple of minutes returned with the principal. He started to lecture -Little bastards, I am gonna teach you how to behave... by the way, who drew this butt on the blackboard? |
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Reasons to avoid
laughing 1. They
say that laughing generates a lot of vitamin C. Did you know that
you could die of C overdose? Well, that’s true. Statistics show that
an average human can die after 24 funny jokes.
2. When you
laugh at funny jokes you can possibly hit your head at a door-post
if there is one around. Hitting a head at a door-post may cause
death.
3. Laughing can be a reason of swallowing your tongue.
In case you have a long tongue (sure you have – you visited our
funny jokes site) it can close your windpipe. You’ll die without the
oxygen. You are not a fish, are you?
4. Hard laughing at
funny jokes can cause a severe heart-attack.
5. Laughing
usually attracts red-haired monsters living in the woods. They lurk
at a laugher, grab him and snap his laughing head off...
We
could go on with this list. There are many reasons why you should
avoid laughing at funny jokes. Still I believe that people
will laugh on anyway. I cannot reproach them. Joking and mocking
still rules!
So, what in the end happened with poor Mr.
Broomstick? Do not worry, he’s OK. He married Nurse and they live
somewhere by the woods...
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