Funny jokes and free naughty pictures.

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures. At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee.
She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.
"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."
He said, "Fuck him, give him a dollar!"
The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."

Before a passionate night a man says to his lady:
"I shall have you like no-one ever have had you before!"
Lady clutches her head and iterates:
"Oh, my poor, poor ears!!!"

"Where are you going so late in evening, son?"
"Gonna go to the meadow."
"All alone?"
"No, gonna take Samantha with me."
"Ok, son, just do not sleep on wet grass!"
"I told you, I'm gonna take Samantha with me..."

-Mummy, how come my brother was carried by a stork, but I was found in a cabbadge?
-You were so bad that the stork couldn't carry you home. He just dropped you in a kale-yard.

A guy is walking down the street with some chicken wire under his arm. His neighbour sees him and asks what he has. The guy replies,
"It is chicken wire and I'm going to catch some chickens."
His neighbour says, "You fool, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire."
Later that night, he sees the guy walking down the street dragging 12 chickens. The next day he sees him walking down the street with some duct tape under his arm. Once again he asks what the guy is up to. The guy says he has some duct tape and he is going to catch some ducks. He replies,
"You fool, you can't catch ducks with duct tape."
Sure enough later that night, he sees the guy walking down the street dragging 12 ducks behind him. The next day, he sees the guy walking with something else under his arm. He asks what it is. The guy replies,
"It is pussy willow."
Neighbour says, "Hold on, let me get my hat."