Funny jokes and free naughty pictures.

Early morning. A crowded bus. A lady approaches a young man:
"Are you going to step out on the next stop?"
"No, madam, I'd step out after the next stop."
"Should we swap, then?"
"What do you mean? I'm stepping out on the next stop and you step out after the next stop?"

"I'm treating a patient with a split personality," boasted a psychiatrist, "and NHS pays for both of them!"

A tourist asks the train attendant:
"When will the train stop at Victoria station?"
"I'm afraid we are not calling at Victoria. This is an express."
"It's impossible; I got to get to Victoria!"
"I'm sorry, Sir, the train won't stop."
"Can't you think of some clue?"
"Well, all right, I would ask the machinist to slow down a bit, then I would lift you out the train and put you on the platform."
"Oh, my God, can we work it out?"
"It's worth trying."
Sure do, before closing the station the train slows down; the attendant lifts the tourist out and carefully puts him on the platform. Driven by his own momentum the tourist keeps on running for a while. The last wagon of the train passes and a caring hand reaches out, grabs the runner by the collar and drags him back onto the train.
"What a luck," says the stranger. "I managed to help you inside, this train isn't calling at Victoria!"

Our kidneys filter out the alcochol within 24 hours. That's why we are forced to drink every day...

Three men talking:
"You know, My girlfriend caught a sight of great black panties. It costed me 100 $."
"That is no deal"
Says the second man. "My wife caught a sight of panties with brilliants. It costed me 1,000 $."
"Oh, well..." Says the third man. "My wife caught a sight of second-hand panties. It costed me 1,000,000 $ and a divorce."
"WHAT??? What shop did she find it in?"
"No shop, pals. She found them in my pocket."