Yeti Snowman & Monster Jokes

How do you call a Yeti that likes to be in the spotlight?
Abominable Showman.

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What did the fiend say to the twin witches?
Which witch is which?

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Why don't ghosts make good magicians?
You can see right through their tricks.

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What does the abominable snowman do at 12 o'clock?
He is having an Ava-lunch.

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What do you call a ghost who only haunts the Town Hall?
The nightmayor.

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Why do toadstools grow so close together?
Because they don't need mush-room.

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How do rich ghosts spend their leisure time?
They are haunting deer.

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What is a ghost's favorite position in football?
Ghoul-keeper.

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Where in England do witches herd their sheep?
in WoolWich.

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What do you call a sleeping monster who cannot keep quiet in the night?
Frankensnore.

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What did King Kong say when his sister had a baby?
Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle.

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Who wrote the newest horror book titled "The Haunted House"?
Hugo First.

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What do you get if you cross a zombie with a boy scout?
A creature that scares old ladies across the road?

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and a yeti snowman?
Frostbite.

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What is a monster's favourite alcoholic drink?
Gin and slime.

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What did the monster write at the bottom of the letter?
Best vicious...

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What do monsters drink?
Demonade.

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How did Dr Frankenstein become so popular?
He was always making new friends.

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Whom did the monster send the Valentine day greeting card?
His ghoul friend.

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Why do Martians make good gardeners?
They all have green thumbs.

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What do the stupid ghost do?
He climbs over walls.

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Come on, Frank, eat your raw garlic. It is good for growing monsters.
But mum, I don't want to grow monsters any more!

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What did the ghost teacher say to the ghost pupil?
Don't spook until you're spooken to.

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Where do fiends play their golf?
At the ghoulf-corpse.

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How do you call an abominable snowman who is the leader of his group?
A-dominable snowman.

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What do you call a wizard from outer space?
A flying sorcerer.

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Two tourists went into a dark, spooky castle.
"I cannot see a thing," said one.
"Hold my hand," said the other.
"All right," the first tourist reached out. "Take off that horrible cold glove first, though."
"But I'm not wearing a glove... Aargh!!!"

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Why did doctor Jekyll cross the road?
To get to the other Hyde.

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What game do doctor Jekyll's children love most?
Hyde and shriek.

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What did the monster say to the butcher?
I am pleased to meat you!

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Do zombies have trouble getting dates?
Not at all, they can usually dig someone up.

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Woman was lying in her bed and started to scream: "Aargh, aargh! A ghost just floated into my room!"
Ghost: "Don't worry, Ma'am, I'm just passing through."

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How do you make a witch scratch?
Take away the W.

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Which day of the week do ghosts like best?
Moandays.

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What did the baby monster want for his birthday?
A deady bear.

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Which bear stinks like corpse and goes around scaring other animals?
Winnie The Boo.

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What airline do monsters travel on?
British Scareways.

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What is a spook's favourite ride?
A roller-ghoster.

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Whom did the monster write a letter?
His pen-fiend.

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What is the monster's favourite page in the newspaper?
The horrorscopes.

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How does a monster count to thirteen?
On his fingers.

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Did you hear about the little spook who couldn't sleep at night because his brother kept telling him human stories?

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Why was the big green Cyclops known as a playboy?
Because he had an eye for the ladies.

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Why did the Cyclops give up teaching?
Because he only had one pupil.

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Who speaks at the ghosts' press conference?
The spooksperson.

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What did the monster say to his fiend at 8 AM?
Good mourning, mate!

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Why do ghosts hate rain?
It dampens their spirits.

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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
Potato ships.

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What is a ghost's favourite dessert?
Boo-berry pie with I-scream.

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What type of cheese do monsters eat?
Monsterella.

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Why couldn't the skeleton go to the disco?
Because he had no-body to go with.

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Why couldn't a skeleton perform in the church?
It had no organs.

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What do you call a dumb skeleton?
A numbskull.

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What did the skeleton wife say to her skeleton husband?
"You have no guts!"

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Why do skeletons eat Yoplait yoghurt?
Because it is good for them bones.

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